I'm ugly

I'm Ugly

I look awful and nothing I do can change me. Where's God in all this?

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Comment by Benedict Atkins |

Thanks for saying what you've said and saying it so well. I know this is under the girls' section, but it's a healing message of truth that needs to be heard by many in our generations.

Jane Plackett

Jane Plackett

Jane is a Cornish girl, living in Nottingham, and an ordained priest in the Church of England. She’s happiest by the sea, passionate about community, likes good cheese, and loves Jesus.

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I'm Ugly

This could be where I write that you’re beautiful on the inside, and that’s what really counts...

I’m ugly.

We’ve probably all said it about ourselves – even the most attractive among us – but it’s not often talked about. It’s difficult to say when you’re having a day where you actually feel pretty beautiful because you’re worried about sounding smug, and it’s difficult to say when you want to spend the day in your pyjamas because you feel completely revolting. It’s difficult to say when you feel powerless, or rejected, and it’s difficult to write when you feel encouraged and admired.

This could be where I write that you’re beautiful on the inside, and that’s what really counts (have a read of 1 Samuel 16 – where David, then unexpected, average looking, young shepherd is anointed as a future king, above his more robust, more experienced, and better looking brothers, or 1 Peter 3:3-4).

Or I could write about how God sees us, and how we’re beautiful, and he celebrates our creation (2 Philippians 15, Psalm 139, Ephesians 2:10).

These are wonderful truths. God does love us: the people he creates. He has a plan and a purpose for us, and he rejoices over us.

The media, our friends, the things we read all feed us lies about the importance of beauty, and our perception of it.

But also I want to talk about how we all have a hugely warped view of beauty. The media, our friends, the things we read all feed us lies about the importance of beauty, and our perception of it.  In a world that tells us that how we look is important we’ve told ourselves that’s true.

Perhaps controversially, I’m going to suggest that being incredibly beautiful has its challenges too. You can struggle to be taken seriously. You can struggle to not be perceived as an “airhead”. People are often attracted to you because of how you look, not who you are which I’ve seen lead to heartbreak and disillusionment.

Basically I’m saying that life is unlikely to be any better for the blonder, or slimmer, or darker skinned, or more curvy, or better dressed version of yourself that you’ve envisioned. And I believe this, because I believe there’s no more value in being attractive than in being ugly.

No surgery, no amount of make up, no possessions, no job, grades, career, number of children, taste in music, phone, ipad or car make you more valuable than you already are.

I know that for many of us as women the love, attention and esteem of men can be a huge deal. We don’t always talk about how much we desire this – when we get dressed for church we secretly think about it. When our friends start dating brilliant men, and we watch their self esteem go through the ceiling it’s easy to want that.

No surgery, no amount of make up, no possessions, no job, grades, career, number of children, taste in music, phone, ipad or car make you more valuable than you already are.

The solution is to trust God with that. Pray about it, and leave it with him. You are a fully functioning woman in your own right, with a calling, and a vision and purpose independent of your relationship status.

The only way to be happy amid all these messages of attractiveness and value is to sit back, and to learn to be SATISFIED in the person God has created you as; knowing that you are created to be who you are, looking as you do for this time and season. Don’t invest your time and worry in making yourself into something you’re not. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t dress well, put on a bit of make-up, and buy pretty shoes. But I’m asking that you never let it govern your entire existence.

You look perfect for the job God asks of you. He calls you to lay down your own agendas and pick up His agenda for you. You have exactly the right nose, waist measurement, and eye colour. Your hair has the necessary frizziness or flatness. There isn’t a disability or a disfigurement that could possibly make you unsuitable for the task he has set out for you.

Ask him what it is he’s calling you to and stop thinking about everything else – there is nothing more satisfying, more fulfilling, more wonderful, more encouraging, or more valuable than walking in the life God has for you. If you don’t know what that is, stop for a bit. Read the Bible, pray with friends, be accountable, get your life and your heart right with God. Ask him, and ask people you trust to ask him too.

You have a crucial job in the kingdom of God, a job that only you were created to do. So stop worrying about looking the part, and start playing the role.

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Comment by Benedict Atkins |

Thanks for saying what you've said and saying it so well. I know this is under the girls' section, but it's a healing message of truth that needs to be heard by many in our generations.

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