BFFs

BFFs

Charlie peers into the culture shocking relationship between David and Jonathan.

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Charlie Lamont

Charlie Lamont

The Rev'd Charlie is one of the co-founders of The Bridge. He's a young curate in the Church of England, married to Hannah with whom he lives in lovely Surrey. Charlie has a plan in life... to glorify God in all he does. He has a heart for young people to be caught by the Holy Spirit, and be guided into the Father's will. Along side this, he has a healthy love of fine ale. Read what he has to say!

Streams

The Big Story #6: God's Church

The Big Story #6: God's Church

Rounding off our big Bible overview we look to the conclusion of the story and what we need to do to get there. God has chosen us to play a part in it, but how? What does it mean to be God's church?

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The Big Story #5: God's Son

The Big Story #5: God's Son

It all points to Him, everything that had come before, the promises, the prophecies, the people. Here we reach the climax of God's story in a person, God's son, Jesus Christ. We don't understand him until we see how he fits into what's come before.

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The Big Story #3: God's Kingdom

The Big Story #3: God's Kingdom

Look around the world and we see kings, presidents, leaders who are very much flawed. Israel had a king - God, but they wanted a human king. We look at how that worked out for God's people.

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The Big Story #2: God's People

The Big Story #2: God's People

God's story is both cosmic in scope and intimate in care, we see that as he chose to fulfil his purposes in a family. But why did God choose Abraham and the people of Israel to be the ones who would be a blessing to the whole world?

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BFFs

This article is dedicated to Bridget Woodall. She has opened my eyes to exciting Spirit filled friendship. 

David and Jonathan are a great example of what real and true friendship is.

1 Samuel 18-20. Yes, you read that correctly. Two whole chapters! If you want to read this article, which I suggest you do, make sure at some point you read these chapters of 1 Samuel through in one sitting. Just relax into the story and go for it.

C.S. Lewis held friendship incredibly highly, in fact he says, “Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods, certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life.”

David and Jonathan are a great example of what real and true friendship is.

“When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan loved him as his own soul...Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armour, and even his sword and his bow, and his belt.”

1 Samuel 18:1,3-5

This small section of the passage speaks to much of the love that Jonathan had for David. I’m using this word love because that is exactly what it says, and therefore it is what it is. As Jane has written about this week also, the term love is not necessarily sexual, and it wasn't here. Love is so much broader than the word used for the person we may be shacking up with. Between true friends love is the centre. As David and Jonathan shared a love for each other so should we as disciples share an honest love for the people we are friends with.

As David and Jonathan shared a love for each other so should we as disciples share an honest love for the people we are friends with.

The soul of Jonathan loved David as his own soul. There are people, when true friendship is reached, that we would naturally give all of our selves for, as Jonathan did symbolically with his clothes. Everything that made Jonathan who he was, as the son of the King, he gave to David.

“Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him; for he loved him as he loved his own life.”

1 Samuel 20:17

Sound familiar? Jesus said something similar...

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 15:12-13

Fascinatingly, Jesus says that there is no better person than someone who will die for a friend of theirs. Beyond this, He is also pointing towards what He was about to do: He was about to give His life for His friends. That is love. So we are to love people like he loved us, and that is to the extent that their life takes priority over our own. This is what we see from this story of David and Jonathan. Jonathan was giving all he was for David, and as the story carries on he puts his own life in danger for David. This is the kind of love that should be expected between followers of Jesus. Not just for the one friendship of marriage, which we often limit love to, in our minds, but also across the board. Two guys, two girls, a guy and a girl... friendship is about the love that we hold for each other and this love is represented in Jesus' love for us.

Lewis has written so much on his understanding of love for friends. Read this carefully, it's beautiful:

“In a perfect friendship... each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company.”

The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis

There will be no Christ-like church unless we step up to what Jesus asks of us

Clive Lewis was a bloke who loved people, and we are to be people who love people for who they are, because Jesus loved people and laid down his life for them. Friendship is so important for us as disciples, and we are to hold it as highly as Christ did. Can we, as a generation, move away from the need to sexualise it? Can we be in relationship with people, like David and Jonathan were, and as Jesus has commanded us to be? There will be no Christ-like church unless we, as followers, step up to what Jesus asks of us. He asks us to be people who understand the need to have loving relationships with each other. To give our hearts for each other and be willing to become intimately close with people.

I believe true friendship is a real work of the Spirit, and I have been blessed with people who I can truly call friends, people with whom God has moved my soul to be connected with. This is beyond and above mere feelings and just being nice to people. It is a matter of prayer and petition that we ask for people in our lives that will be like Jonathan and David were for each other. Hearts collide with the Spirit beyond gender, age, theology, denomination and all other things that stand in our way. Love is not mere niceness, it’s a deep seated ache for relationship that we were given when we were created.

Do you have friends like this? Friends that you would call family because the relationship is so close? Of maybe you are you a person who keeps away from these kind of relationships? Why not discuss this with people who you respect or leave a comment here and start discussing with us?

Glory to God.

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